All posts by Amirag

Too young to adopt a style, too old to quit love for good words

After all this time..!

It has been quite some time now that she felt the way she used to, not knowing whether it was a good sign or not.Signs, oh signs! they have misguided her a lot uptil now.The melodies of her laughs felt like a distant memory, although she has learnt to fake laughters and mild smiles naturally nowadays.You would say “that definitely isn’t a good sign!”.Well somewhere she also knows that and has already tried to cope up with all such signs in her head.Now you would say she is depressed, I’d say she is shattered with everything that hasn’t been right.This continuous cycle ofΒ  “why me’s” has got her afraid , afraid that this cycle is gonna continue.Afraid before trying to catch up her dreams which seem to fly farther away from her.She had worked, she had sacrificed, she had loved, she had given her best into so many of things and people.

 

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Times have changed, people too.Group of students running around in college, bunking classes have turned into collared professionals.Amidst all the changes some things remained the same.She had something for him , something which was significant enough.Yes, she had a lot to do at this stage of her life.She had to become financially independent, had to buy a lot many things for her parents, had to figure out the next steps,blah and much more blah!It was also the time when people had prepared a whole list of to do’s for her.”You have grown to be such a good lady, it is time we start finding the groom!” to “You should be home early, the late night fun isn’t for us girls you know.”Arghhh!! Why do people have to intervene! , she thought.With a mindset quite revolutionary for the society and believes of being independent , she found herself in an ironical pothole.She had loved him, loved him beyond her imagination.It was quite a disbelief for everyone when she got a no.They were perfect and they looked nothing less of a happily ever after!She accepted it, after all she had to blend her tears and weaknesses in the beliefs she had.She went on, carrying her love with a hope that eventually it would fade ,just as she was told-“Give yourself some time,it’ll heal!”

The beginnings were tough, oh god damn tough!It was so because it didn’t look like a no, even if it was.Sometimes she felt , she was being used for the way she felt for him.Whereas, sometimes he was no less than angel to her.She still clinged onto the rope of hope, only to get disappointed in the end.It was not easy to compromise her friendship for all what they had.It took months , after long sessions from friends, and after facing heartbreaking betrayal, to realize they weren’t meant to be.But still something lingered in the remains of her heart,something silent yet violent.This was not just love but love adulterated with fear,insecurity,disappointment.This ultimately led to the present ‘she’.At times she felt she wouldn’t love or trust someone ever, while sometimes she realised that she might but not completely though.The amalgamation of these vivid feelings and other responsibilities fell upon her all at once, and thus she is numb to anything now.She tries to focus just on the things that are important for her career but her heart pops up sometimes.

“It has been years now!What have you done to yourself?”,I asked her over a cup of coffee, when she tried to fool me with one of her fake smiles.She smiled once again.

“After all this time…?”

“Always”,she replied.

Damn! She knew I was a Harry Potter fan!

#Amirag

 

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Little things…

It’s not about the gifts and surprises,

but about the kisses on my forehead.

It’s not about being available ,

but about standing beside, holding my hand always.

It’s not about our laughs together,

but about our tears.

It’s not about our trips and clicks,

but about our strolls, late at night.

It’s not about how often we call each other,

but about the spark through which our eyes used to communicate.

It’s not just about “goodmornings”,

It’s a lot about “goodnights”.

It’s neither about you nor about me,

I thought it was about us.

It surely is not about the big things,

but yes, about the little things !

#AMIRAG

“THE GIRL WHO LIVED…”

​Remember the times when period cramps and bitchy friends were the only things that could screw up your life? Now look at yourself,the hurdles you’ve crossed, the realities you’ve faced.Who knew you could be so strong….so grown up.A woman in her 20’s could experience the nasty teachings of her life grown so old! I don’t want to sound biased with the title,it is just what I as a person have felt over these years.πŸ˜‚

Had a fight with your family?Not able to cope up with the loss you witnessed?Or going crazy because you cannot figure out your career? The gruesome boss is too much to handle and you can’t take out a moment just for yourself?Crying for a person whom you loved and now broke up with? 

Cry….cry your hearts out because it is fine to do so.But once you are done, realise it is not the end.Things happen because you were capable of handling stuff! The only thing to remember always is that you were born as an individual and you should always try to maintain your uniquity.Every other thing was fetched along your journey, you were the only constant in your rapidly varying life.

People come into our lives for a reason.Each and every event…every person you meet has a lesson cooked for you…might be easy…or might be terrifying as death! But surely a moral to be absorbed in our lives.

Carrying on with betrayal, unhappiness or guilt is definitely the most dreadful way to continue.If you are angry at someone you care about or someone’s perfidy is hard to live with, go shout out yourself.Then forgive them, not to be counted as “mahaan” or “great”, but to help your soul heal.After all,such negativity is a burden to handle and you must be your first priority. 

Dying to buy those new glittery shoes,but are out of cash? Earn or save to arrange your budget to buy them.Do what gives you peace and that beautiful smile of satisfaction!πŸ˜ƒ

Follow your advices; advices that emerge from the solution book you have inside, not those which are a result of immediate emotions of anger , love, hatred etc.Remember you are your own counsellor.If things have gone wrong,stop them there and compensate to make it better ahead. 

You have the right to build your own fort…with bricks embedded with your ambitions, dedication and hard work.


Don’t let it be adulterated with something that is not yours.Let others give their contribution and think over that too, but keep that out of your castle!

Be the “Potter” of your own life… the girl who lived!πŸ˜ƒ

#AMIRAG

YOU ARE MY JINGLE

Everyone’s enjoying ,

laughing so hard.

After all it is christmas,

But mine is barred.
Not because someone told me to,

But it just doesn’t feel right.

I experience a hollow me,

A “ME” which I have to fight.

The planning, elation, excitement for today,

Was only when I thought it to be with you.

Without “YOU- MY CELEBRATION”,

its only the darkness that grew.

Coz you still are my jingle,

and you will always be.

The world and I will hate me for this,

But I’m really stuck and you are the only key!

#AMIRAG

ALTHOUGH IT WON’T HELP…

The best thing about love is that you never know you would fall for it, that is why may be,  it is called “falling” in love.It might be a stranger, a friend, a bestfriend or it might just be the smile! Moreover getting loved back is not a choice but loving someone is.Trust me it is a beautiful, when thinking about someone soothens you as well as gives you goosebumps.I feel it is not something that one can decide or control.But it might be something that can help you decide or control.Thought to be clear about is infatuation and love.You can let go of infatuation but love… I don’t think so!πŸ˜‰ You may avoid it , but it would stay.

   Love isn’t all about sacrifices.It is about stealing a glance when he laughs, getting him a hot cup of coffee or hearing his troubles.It is about standing beside him always, no matter what happens.It is definitely about not expecting returns, holding him tight when tornadoes are ready to hit.Love, to me, is the ability to make him feel special… wanted and admired for someone who he is, not to mould him into someone he is not, just to seek perfection.

Love is loving him always even after knowing that the wait won’t help.

πŸ’—πŸ’#AMIRAGπŸ’πŸ’—

“ATRANGI YAARI”

​It has been 21 years of my existence and I have been working on the definition of friendship from a long time.It is one of the things which has been my biggest motivator with words.My complete journey with all the friends I have had uptil now, has groomed me to the person I am today.Very few of them still hold the same old place,infact have even been promoted!πŸ˜ƒ This write up is dedicated to two such crazy homo sapiens whom I call my BEST FRIENDS πŸ’… and it is them who have taught me the greatest of lessons , a part of which I have jotted below.

“Friendship is not about how long you have been together, but how long you decide to stick that way.It is not about how many hours you get to see each other, 24*7 or none. But it is definitely about how much you appreciate the presence, sometimes even silence, when you FEEL topics to talk about have been exhausted.



Moments to be cherished can be recognised easily.A silly chat over what kind of animal the other person resembles to all grave discussions about challenging situations, a good bond accommodates them beautifully! 

For two bestfriends,they complete each other’s world.They themselves are sufficient enough to be a team that can work as well as party together.I won’t say that the world except your bestfriend shouldn’t exist.But you and your bestfriend should be able form a whole new world!”

#AMIRAG

“THIS LOVE “

This love doesn’t show up in scribblings on paper or desks,

It rises from my heart and enlightens my soul.


This love doesn’t believe in ripping off life from my veins,

But in living, content with the warmth of his happiness.


This love doesn’t read many romantic legends,

 a quick ,deep look into his eyes is all what I need.


This love doesn’t want the melodramatic cute conversations,

even the silence,when I am with him is enough.


This love doesn’t make my heart skip a beat,

but makes me live a moment longer.


This love might not be a fabled tale,

it still is my favourite.

This love doesn’t satisfy my desire for him,

but it has made me stronger….to love him even more πŸ’πŸ’


#AMIRAG